


Feelings in a Fight

by hotlinemiamy



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Crossfaction, M/M, Stabbing, Temporary Character Death, battlefield romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29074173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotlinemiamy/pseuds/hotlinemiamy
Summary: RED Spy accidentally frontstabs his BLU boyfriend and feels kinda bad about it.
Relationships: BLU Engineer/RED Spy, Engineer & Spy (Team Fortress 2), Engineer/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Feelings in a Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy, this was my first fanfic in a really long time. I feel a little awkward about it since it’s been a while - most of my “sad” stuff usually comes out corny and bad too - but. Making myself throw this out there since I had this idea stuck in my head anyway.

Spy waits. Cloaked between shadows, rain, and the gold pocket watch he thumbs over in his hand, he presses against a Sawmill shed like a coiled spring. Engineer footsteps come not long after. They’re quick, uneven, balance slightly hampered by the rusty toolbox on his shoulder, en route hauling a Level 3 to the main point.

Too bad RED can’t have that.

The BLU mercenary passes him. Spy decloaks. Sawblades, storm, and nearby gunfire hide the sound, and he goes for the killing blow – a knife aimed at Engineer’s back – with a grin.

It’ll be quick. Fast enough Spy can imagine Engineer’s frustration already. Maybe he’ll wait outside BLU spawn, just to see the look on his—

Engineer whirls around at the last second. Whether he heard footsteps or just generally sensed trouble – didn’t matter. The knife sank in. Spy felt it slip easily into the Texan’s chest and between ribs. Engineer suddenly sputtered air and blood, choked out onto Spy’s burgundy pinstripe sleeve.

Spy freezes. The toolbox drops with an all-too-loud clatter. Engineer grabs Spy’s wrist, hands shaking, more out of pain and surprise than any intended retaliation. He chokes, coughs wetly, brows pinched in an almost perplexed expression.

“Though we said… no more cruel-and-unusual stuff, sweetheart.”

Engineer coughs. His gruff voice shook with pain that had never made Spy’s heart ache until now. Similarly trembling hands drift up to Spy’s – the one holding the knife in a frozen vice grip – and gently clasp around them.

They did say that. Discussed and decided on before during quiet, secret moments. No more torturing each other. They’d done it enough, back when they still hated each other. Long scars on Engineer’s back and the buckshot in Spy’s knee was plenty evidence of before.

But they knew they couldn’t get away with NOT doing their jobs. Not without giving their relationship away. They were killers – they knew that. It wasn’t going to stop. It’d make them suspicious, get in the way.

As if it isn't getting in the way now. Spy still hasn’t moved. Eyes wide, he stares between Engineer’s face and the blood blooming on his shirt. This would be when he finishes it off, normally, but seeing the blood in his lover’s gritted teeth hit him like a punch in the gut.

Guilt. This was guilt.

“I’m.” Spy takes a moment to reach for his composure. “I’m sorry, mon chéri. You turned and—"

Engineer coughs again.

“Hnh.”

Dell Conagher – a name Spy had dug up from public patents back when he was still learning of BLU – wasn’t easy to read behind his thick, black safety goggles. He made up for it in little ways, though. The pinch in his brow, his lips twisting... the weak smile he gave him now.

“Can y’pull it out?”

Somehow, this didn’t feel real. Like Spy was watching it from a distance. Despite it, he surprises himself by obeying. The knife slips out with a slick sound. Spy’s heard it a hundred times before, but this time the guilt twisted his insides, like a hand suddenly grabbed his heart and squeezed.

He surprises himself again by catching Dell before he hit the ground. The impact sends another rush of blood up Dell’s throat. It takes him a second to cough it out, find his voice again.

“I don’t… I don’t wanna walk around like this.”

Spy goes quiet. He can’t blame him. There’s no Dispenser, no Medic nearby. BLU’s Medic was probably respawning across the mill right now – downed by Spy himself not long ago.

Reality finally kicks in. Spy’s lips purse tightly. He re-gathers his composure, as much as he can, and cleans his throat. Straightens up.

“I’ll make it quick.”

The bloody knife is set aside as he pulls out his revolver. His free hand takes Dell’s own, pulls it to his lips for a brief kiss, looking his lover in the eye. Dell half-chuckles. Spy knew the man didn’t care to be doted on, but he doesn’t seem to mind this time.

It won’t be the first time. They know that. They won’t always have the chance to make it right, make it nice like this. But they’ll take it where they can.

“S’alright, darlin’. It’s just work,” Dell says weakly. He tries to smile. “Maybe we’ll make it fun next time.”

Ugh. He’s making it clinical. Rationalizing it in that sweet way that breaks his heart. Spy brings their hands down.

Then he pulls the trigger.

Dell slumps, and Spy looks away. Their hands linger together for a moment. Spy makes quiet plans to visit his bunk tonight. A moment passes – until Spy hears voices shouting through the rain. Finally, he stands, quickly lights a cigarette, and disappears.

In another ten seconds, Dell will respawn, and Spy will once again curse himself for bringing feelings to a battlefield.


End file.
